something depressed me these few days , its because i’m feeling so lost , even till now . cause i just can’t find you around , i don’t know the point of smiling , and i can’t figure out what must i do just to be the usual me .
i’m waiting patiently for my love to come to me , even just to say ’ hi ’ , but everything is such a rare thing to me by now . we used to be so close , now we’re just far apart .
what’s wrong with you ? what’s wrong with me ? what’s wrong with us ?
i feel that i lost the spirit to live , why is that so ? i depend on you too much that i hate to stand alone , even in the brightest days of my life .
is it wrong of me ? i always ask myself . yes , it is . i’m in too deep to you and that’s a very big problem . if one day you left , guess i can never find a way to survive the busy road of live alone , by myself .
i’ll be lost .
but on the other side , i won’t ever let you go , cause i really love you , and its really that much .
the last thing i wanna say is that , i miss you , i need you , and i love you . these 3 things made up my lonely days without you , and it will be nice of me to hear you say that you miss me , need me , and love me too .
there’s that one day in your life when you feel so happy that you can never feel as happy as that day . you laugh , you jump , you cry with the tears of happiness . you feel like you’ve achieved everything and you just don’t want that special day to end .
there’s also a day when you really feel so bad , nothing to do , no reason to smile , yet bunches reasons to cry . you feel like you failed everything and can’t find anything right about yourself . it hurts , really really hurts . you want that day to end in a blink , but it takes you forever to complete a day .
there’s a day , when you feel nothing , not happy , yet not sad . no emotion , just a flat boring day of your life . you’re not in the mood of doing anything , you don’t have any reason to do things , you end up doing nothing the whole day beside staring at the wall , wondering what makes you feel so .
its almost everyday , that you feel happy and sad at the same day , emotion changes from happy to sad , sad to angry , angry to happy again , and all .
that’s life , what can you expect more ? live it , flow with it , try to smile all the time , yet don’t force yourself not to cry . be yourself , and never lie to yourself .
i spend some time to write bout my feelings to you as i can never say it out loud . wish i can by the way , but , no . i just don’t have that simple courage to tell you bout this feelings that keep me up day and night , thinking bout you .
i hate myself to know that i’m so coward , but this is me , i can’t blame myself for being me . well , i’ll let you know this . i fell for you from the first time i saw you , from then , i believe that you’re the only one i wanna spend the rest of my life with . oh , i wish it can be true .
all i can think bout is you , all i wanna be is with you , all my smile is because of you , all my life’s dedicated to you . too bad you never know it , i don’t think you ever know me also .
must i keep this feelings or should i just throw it far far away ? i can’t decide . i’m hurting myself by loving you , i’m killing myself by leaving you .
anyway , the conclusion is , i love you . that’s all .
and i still can’t find the courage to give you this letter , so , i’ll just scrap it and throw it away .
tomorrow’s my 25th birthday , and all i want is his proposal of marriage . he once promised me that he would propose on my 25th birthday .
but everything faded since he left the country last month . he left me here alone , with no hope . he said he’ll try his best to come on my birthday , just to say ’ hi ’ , and nothing else .
guess he had forgotten everything .
hours passed by , simply i’ll be 25th in no time . i look at the clock and its 11.29 PM . will he come on time ? will he even come to my birthday party ?
12.00 AM , i’m starting to receive ’ happy birthday ’ stuffs on my facebook and twitter , no sign of him , at all . though i wish he can just call me for some time to say happy birthday or so .
he loves me no more .
my heart breaks , it feels so bad . i won’t cry , cause its my birthday . i barely wanna sleep , i keep on waiting for him to call , wall , tweet , text , whatever !
i fall asleep , even i can’t meet him in my dreams .
i wake up with that fake smile on my face , let everybody cheer me up but i feel bad , cause i can’t give them a real smile , just a fake one . sorry .
that day isn’t one of the best birthday for sure , and is the worst . i can’t find him anywhere , and so all i can do is faking a smile for the whole day . believe me , its not that easy .
another 11.29 PM , and my phone rings . ” hey , i guess you’re not asleep yet , i just wanna say happy birthday ! ” i heard that familiar voice , its HIM ! i’m trying to stay calm , and angry at the same time , but i can never fake my smile this time .
" yes , thanks you " i simply said that .
" only that ? you don’t miss me ? oh well , then i’ll just leave " said he . and you know what , he’s in front of my ROOM by now ! i ran to my door and open it , and i see him there , with a dozen of white rose .
and a little box .
" dear love , will you be my dear wifey ? " as he open that little box with a pair of engagement ring . i smile and i cry , i nod , and i hug him .
i use that special ring , and i put that white roses on my desk . actually , i don’t need every parties available for me everywhere . this is all i need .
the simplest , yet the greatest gift of all — LOVE
" if i still love you , will you give me your heart again ? " that’s the first thing that made me smile this morning .
yes , its that someone . i used to love him , i used to , means , he’s my ex . i don’t know if i still love him as much now , all i know is that , what he said this morning made me smile . i said nothing in reply , i just smiled . after some time , i nodded and said , ” yes , i will “
i still love him , yes , i do .
a month earlier , its like , i met him , after some time departed , as he went for his university outside the country . yes , i missed him much , and i met him on twitter , that’s cool btw . i never got a boy since i broke up with him , and i just can’t find a way to let go of him . well , you may conclude that i love him a real lot , even till now .
just a week earlier , he went back after 4 years of studying abroad . he called me , and asked me to meet him somewhere . yes , he picked me up at 7 and took me to a cafe . we shared a real lot of things bout him , and me .
the best thing to know was that he missed me much back then , and he was so grateful to meet me again at last . he never said he still love me or so , and i felt like , i wouldn’t have the smallest chance to be back with him .
and yesterday , he went to my home , and i wasn’t there , too bad . he went home , and he called me , he told me that he just got back from my home and no one was there . i asked him to come this morning , sunday morning . and this is what happened this morning .
" janette , are you there ? its me , steve ! " he shouted , in front of my home . that was around 10 and i just finished my breakfast . he asked me for a walk , and i went with him . we talked out a lotta things till he stopped walking and asked me something shocking .
" hey , is there any chance that we can get back together ? " i got stunned and said nothing . then he laughed and hugged me , " ah i miss my janette "
i broke free from his hug , and i ran away . i thought it must be another fake hope . he wasn’t a type of guy who will beg a girl for her love . i ran back home . he chased me , calling my name .
i locked myself in my room , crying . then i heard his voice again , shouting , ” janette please !! i still love you and i really want you to know that ” the first time , i ignored him . he begged , and he said again , ” if i still love you , will you give me your heart again ? “
that words , made me smile , i didn’t know why . i ran down , ran to him and smiled . i nodded , and i said , ” yes , i will ” with my tears on my cheek .
he hugged me . and yes , its a special day . all i know is that , every little bit of hope can be true , when i believe it .
this is the first time i write a diary and i guess let me tell you a lot bout me , but simply , i’m a girl , i love a guy , but i never know what i can do to make him love me . ah , i wish love can be much simpler and he can love me back !
day by day passed since the first time i fell for him , he’s a simple guy with a great personality , i don’t know , i always want to be with him . and i know , this feeling’s love .
well diary , ttyl , i need to go to sleep . i’ll write on you more .
02-10-10 ( @ cafe )
dear diary ,
i actually met him just now , in this cafe . its good that you’re here with me , my dearest diary , cause i can’t talk to anyone . he’s nice , he approached me , he called me ! oh my , i’m feeling so happy ! everyday i meet him at school by the way , but he never been so nice to me , cause he’s with his friends and never even see me there . too bad .
its been some time since the first time i fell for him , but till now i still can’t find a simple way to get myself close to him . God help me !
05-10-10 ( @ biology class )
dear diary ,
i hate myself for loving him , he just get too close with one of the girl in my class , gee ! why just i never get that courage to talk to him or so ! i don’t know , i’m feeling so bad today , i’ll talk to someone later bout my feelings , i don’t know , really , i don’t care bout anything ! ah . love’s not fair . why it hurts so badly ?
08-10-10 ( @ living room )
dear diary ,
i talked to my mom just now about that guy . i told mom everything bout it , and i was crying , i am crying . it hurts . mom hug me tight and actually making me feel kinda better . i smile a lil bit . and i can never forget one thing she said :
" there’s no such thing as ’ no hope ’ , there’s alway ’ a hope ’ no matter how small it is , you just need to believe it , dear "
that kinda strengthen me , and i promised to myself not to be such a weak girl . i learned a lot with that saying . i really hope what my mom said is true . there’s always ’ a hope ’ for me , no matter how small it is .
maybe i must confess to him a s a p , before its too late . if he has the same feelings as me , i will be so happy . but if he doesn’t , well , i’ll try to forget him .
anyway , mom said , there’s bunches of guys out there and not only him . that’s a point . but what if all i want is him ? i’ll leave that question hanging .
10-10-10 ( @ my room )
dear diary ,
you wouldn’t believe it . it turns out to be ’ a hope ’ anyway ! i asked him for a lunch today and i shared a real lot of things with him . its cool ! he said its nice talking to me , and he really asked me for lunch other time . yes , i know , if i believe , there’s a hope !
this is a start , i won’t give up , and i’ll try my very best to make him happy and comfortable with me . cause i know , this love is so pure , my love for him never demand anything more than his love . though he never knows , one day , i believe he’ll figure it out .
my feelings , how much i love him , it’ll be clear to him . till then , remind me , not to give up on him .
once upon a time i fell in love .. and i live happily ever after ..
first , i want to say hello to you kyppuquotes :3 . . i really loves your tweets on twitter .. and im one of your followers Jen_96 . . u can check it out ;D … well , i want to request some quotes .. can i ? if u can do so , i want to request some quotes that are relating to ‘hopes’ . . like , girl was hoping for a guy , who is she loves the most . . and the guy is not even realising that the girl was waiting for him . .
i think that’s enough , i hope u can fulfill my request .. and i hope u can follow me back to on tumblr and twitter ;)
if i write your name on the sand — the sea will wash it away .
if i write your name on the water — no one can ever see it , cause it fades away in fraction of seconds .
if i write your name on the air — it won’t stay there , it fades away just too soon .
if i write your name on the wall — it can be repainted , it’ll no longer seen .
if i write your name on the stars — i won’t see you during the day .
if i write your name on a piece of paper — it can be torn apart , it can be scribbled , destroyed , and all .
if i write your name on a black board — it can be erased too easily .
if i write your name on a white board — it’ll eventually be erased , even when i used a permanent marker .
if i write your name in my brain — i will always think bout you , it won’t ever disappear .
if i write your name in my heart — i will always love you , you’ll be safe in my heart .
what will be me without you ? well , i can never figure it out . this is me , writing all about my heart .
me without you — i can never feel your heart beating for me .
me without you — life will be so plain .
me without you — no more good reason for my smile .
me without you — that hug , that kiss , no longer mine .
me without you — how much tears must hit the ground .
me without you — i lost the best piece of me , my heart .
me without you — no more pain killer .
me without you — no more warmth .
me without you — that sweetness of you , i lost every bits of it .
me without you — i’ll be back to the old , weak , me .
me without you — i won’t remember what’s love .
me without you — promises are just another lies .
me without you — i’m lost .
me without you — day by day , alone , lonely .
me without you — i got a good reason to cry .
me without you — my life will be so black and white .
me without you — i know that i’m so dumb by letting you go .
me without you — i can’t feel that love again .
me without you — i’m losing YOU and that’s the only major thing i must regret , because i’m hurting myself , i’m being such a stupid , i’m being such a lame and whatsoever i’ll call myself . baby you’re the only one i ever love , i always want to be with you . and it will never change .
me without you — well , it won’t ever happen anyway .
Alone for a while I’ve been searching through the dark,
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart,
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain,
Melodies of life - love’s lost refrain.
Our paths they did cross, though I cannot say just why.
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye.
And who’ll hear the echoes of stories never told ?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold.
In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me.
Though you’re gone, I still believe that you can call out my name.
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying birds - forever and beyond.
So far and away, see the birds as it flies by.
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky.
I’ve laid my memories and dreams upon those wings.
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings.
In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me ?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leave me behind ?
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine.
Adding up the layers of harmony.
And so it goes, on and on.
Melodies of life,
To the sky beyond the flying bird - forever and on.
If I should leave this lonely world behind,
Your voice will still remember our melody.
Now I know we’ll carry on.
Melodies of life,
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts, as long as we remember.
there was a guy who loved a girl for 2 years but never had a chance to confess . he was a simple guy , with no riches , and the girl was the daughter of a big boss . he demanded not more than her love .
one day he decided to speak to her and started a topic , but that girl seemed so disgusted by this guy , cause he was just a low classed guy , and not like her . she left him .
day by day passed by , he started to lose hope , but still loving her . he stayed in silence and never told anyone bout his feelings to her .
year by year passed by , he still loving her no matter what . he became a successful business man by the time he met this girl again , on the street , with nothing . he asked this girl , and she cried and told him everything , bout how her father’s business had been taken and every bad things that happened to her .
this guy hugged her and took her home , his love to her was undoubted , its too pure . by then , he confessed his love to her , that he worked this hard just so that he could get near to her . for him , she was her princess , from the first time he saw her , no matter how harsh she was , he didn’t care .
she felt so bad , she felt so disgusted by herself that she was such an arrogant girl before she lost everything . she regretted everything . she begged him for his mercy , but she didn’t have to , cause he loved him for whoever she was , he didn’t care if she wasn’t rich , if she wasn’t as beautiful .
the proposal was made . they were married . she promised to be a good , wise , woman , and she would love him to the dearest . he did too . and they both lived happily ever after .
once there was a couple . the girl , namely , sherry , is a material girl . she always demanded jack , her boyfriend , to buy everything for her , to give her everything she wanted .
one day , jack ran out of money , because of sherry , but he still stayed silent and tried his best to support sherry’s lust for luxury things . till the point he didn’t have any money left .
" baby , i really want this clothes , its $1800 only , give me the money please " said sherry .
" sorry , sweetheart , maybe next time " jack replied . he didn’t want to let sherry know that he ran out of money , he afraid she would dump him .
sherry got upset as jack wouldn’t let her buy that clothes she wanted , and she just left him , and didn’t contact him for some time . she never knew what he was doing , or so .
jack tried her best to contact sherry , but she rejected all his calls and never replied his messages .
" sherry ! a bad news ! " she got a phone call from a close friend of her .
" what is it ? calm down ! " sherry answered calmly without knowing what happened . and she was so shocked when ..
" jack ! he was stabbed ! " said her friend .
she ran outside , and went to the hospital to meet jack , hoping he was ok .
she’s kinda too late .
jack passed away when she was on her way , but he left some things to say to her , recorded on his phone , just before he died .
as she saw jack there , lying , not moving , dead , she began to cry . she was given that record , and jack was saying in slow , almost unheard —
" baby , sorry i can’t gather enough money for you , i got this $500 , i borrowed it from someone , and i was going to borrow it from someone else ……….i love you "
and no more word was heard .
so what was happening , jack just borrowed some sums of money and he was caught by a robber , but he tried to defend the money , and got stabbed by the robber . he still got the money though , but he lost his life , for sherry .
sherry felt so bad and she regret everything she did . she cried and cried but no use , jack wouldn’t wake up again . the last thing she said to him was she hated him , and then , she just realized , how much jack , simply , love her .
there was this little girl who’s only 3 when she lost her mom . she didn’t exactly understand what was happening , she just wanted to meet her mom so badly .
about a year later , she got that courage to ask his dad about mom , ” daddy , why can’t i meet mommy again ? ” and her dad replied , ” you will meet mom one day , she’s in heaven now ” , with a smile that strengthen that little girl .
one week after that , when she was waiting for her dad to come home , a police officer came to her home , and picked her up .
" what happened to daddy ? why he’s not coming home today ? " she asked innocently .
" little girl , your daddy’s in heaven now " answered the officer .
" is heaven far away ? i want to go there too ! i want to meet daddy , and daddy said mom is there too ! " she said that cheerfully without knowing anything .
the officer can just smiled and said , ” well , heaven is far far away , you’ll be there one day , but not now ” .
the little girl grew up into a fine young woman , and she already understood that she’s an orphan . she got a great step mother and father and lived with them for the rest of her life . typical woman , work , career , love , and the future .
her marriage day was on may 15th , and that was the day when she died on a car crash . her husband was saved , but she passed away .
she got up in a very strange place , all white , all light , and she started to question , ” is this heaven ? am i in heaven now ? “
she saw a familiar face and voice , calling her name , and said , ” yes , you are , my daughter ” — her mom , and even she saw her dad beside her . she burst out in tears and hug them , and she felt like a little girl again , with that happy smile on her face , with the joyful feelings she never experienced before . and the three of them walked into the gate of heaven .
there was a couple , a simple teenage boy and girl . their love seemed so dear and nothing can break them apart .
one day , the boy said to the girl , ” baby if you love me , can you stay a day without me by your side ? ” and the girl said , ” yes , if that’s a way to proof my love to you “
a day passed , the girl must live without the boy for one single day , without knowing that the boy had only a day to spend , he was dying of cancer .
the next day , she went to his house , knowing nothing , and saw her boyfriend’s dead body . she cried so loud , she couldn’t help herself , and she was given a piece of letter , from him .
" i’m glad to know that you can live without me for a day , now that i’m gone , can you continue your life without me ? sorry for not telling you everything , cause i know i can’t live much longer , but my love for you will lasts . i hate to make you cry , so i won’t tell you bout this . don’t cry for me , remember me , i’ll always live in your heart , in our memories . cause you must know , i left my heart with you . though my body won’t move again , my heart is beating with you , and will beat forever . love you , forever . "